The Best Day!

I just want to say what a great day I have had today!

It kind of started the day earlier as I stayed at my sister’s place who just moved back to the same state! (1.5hrs away) I am so excited that she is back and with my two gorgeous little nieces that I have missed so much. I am glad that i can be a part of their lives again and build that close connection that i have wanted.

We woke up bright and early to a beautifully sunny day that instantly made you want to get up and get out there. My sister had to get a few things so we went to Ikea which we just thought was so cool and boy do the displays show such attention to detail. After a successful shop we headed home for lunch and a bum around. I ran in the yard with the dog and the girls, played some darts while my sister experimented with some new cake recipes

Just to be around family enjoying the simplest of things that we don't get to do very often as my family is all over Australia was just so nice and i lapped up every moment.

I left just after 4pm and decided to stop off at my old work I left a month ago as it was half way on my trip home. I ended up spending 3hrs catching up with 5 of my old work friends and it was so nice to see how excited they were to see me and to hear that I have been missed. I really built so many great relationships in my time there and it was so great to reconnect.

I went for a bit of a shop before i headed home for the hour drive and decided to keep the good times going and called my dad who lives in Perth. It was great to talk all the way home and laugh and just be positive about life.

I am home now and I just feel so light and happy about the day that i decided to write about it a little. Up at 7am and home by 9:30pm and I feel so energized, fulfilled and content. I really hope everyone has had a great day and will fall asleep tonight with a smile on their face as well as in their hearts.

Peace ✌

Struggles

Do you ever feel like you’re holding your breath and you’re not too sure how to let it go and breath normally again?                                                                                 Do you ever feel helpless and unsure of how to fix a situation in your life and the only thing you can do is just stand there and watch shit fall apart?

Lately I have been feeling like a flood of emotions have just hit me right in the face and I can’t seem to get a grip onto anything that’s going to save me. I feel overwhelmed, frustrated and anxious.

I honestly wish I had something solid to attach myself to because I’m afraid that I’m just going to fall into a sink hole and no one would even care. How does life just get like this? How can things be so damn perfect and then BOOM! Fuck you Layne I’m gonna test you with everything that matters to you.

Sure I am feeling sorry for myself and yeah sure there are so many people out there with much worse and much less then me and I shouldn’t complain but you know what? I have feelings and I can’t just continually swallow them because they appear unimportant to so many. To me they are real and I am hurting, don’t let anyone tell you you’re not allowed to express your feelings because to you they mean something.

I am so over being told that I have my health so I should be happy and don’t get me wrong I am glad that I am healthy but what about psychologically, does that count or does it not matter because you can’t see it when it’s shattered?

I am shaken, I am weakened and at the moment I don’t feel so strong. I wish I could be that powerful woman that no matter what can stand tall through all her heartaches and be like fuck the world nothing  is going to make me fall to my knees but hey, I guess that’s just not me because I am sensitive despite what I want to believe or how I project myself to others. Unfortunately I have a heart and sometimes it feels shaken.

I think its okay to take you time and wallow in your sadness from time to time as long as you remember not to be consumed by it. I know deep down that I will be okay and that these feelings are temporary and that they will pass. But right now I don’t need to be silenced I need to be heard and I need to matter.

I am sorry for the low note but I needed to get it out.