As I have mentioned briefly in my intro (if you read it, if
not. Go read it!) lol I am a lesbian and I just want to say that I have the
most amazing girlfriend and I am so grateful for everything she does. Like any
couple we have had our ups and downs but at the end of the day I know she’s the
one I want to be with. I think sometimes I forget to tell her what she means to
me or more importantly I forget to show her. I have been going through some
issues of my own and anyone that knows me knows that I am the type of person
that just tries to sweep things under the rug and move on. The only problem
with that is that you never actually move on. I hate dealing with my feelings
I’d much rather be the class clown, light hearted big kid that always has a
smile on my face but unfortunately as my
girlfriend continues to tell me, my eyes show everything.
A big part of why I decided to make a blog was to get me
writing again. Writing for me use to be a coping mechanism from when I was in
my late teens although I only really wrote poems and would only ever show my
then best friend as we had been close our whole lives. There’s just something
about putting pen to paper (literally) that use to make me spill out my many
emotions that I felt were drowning me. I am the youngest of five kids (grew up
with four) however I feel like I had to be the strongest. I mean I shouldn't
complain and I really don’t think that I am but I do believe that everything
you go through is to help form the person you are today. It would be nice however
if some things could have just not gone down but eh such is life.
Today, and I'm not saying that I won’t have slip ups or
moments of fuck the world but today I want to start smiling with nothing hidden
under the rug (not gonna lie I was gonna say my rug but then I thought I might
provoke some lesbian jokes haha)
Anyhooo, see forever distracted…
I want to bite things in the butt as they happen and
genuinely move on because the people in my life especially my girlfriend and
our daughter deserve the best from me. They deserve the happy, silly, crazy,
caring me that was there from the beginning. Babe if you are reading this, I am
sorry I disappeared on you.
Again short and sweet is my thing. Peace
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